Wedding registry etiquette (how to not be tacky)

You’ve made the choice to have a wedding registry! Hurrah. It’s a great decision, we must admit. Hello totally smooth wedding gift admin, presents you’ll cherish forever and a blissful start to married life. But whilst tacky might work for epic diva, Bette Midler, it’s a definite ‘no-no’ when it comes to wedding gift lists. Gift registries should make all that ‘wedmin’ easier, not more complicated.

So, if you’re looking to avoid a ‘you’re tacky and I hate you’ moment (a la School of Rock), be sure to follow these top tips on wedding registry etiquette. We’ll steer you away from any gift list-related mistakes and help you build a list that truly works for you. We’re here to make communication with your guests totally seamless and ensure they have the best possible experience too. Oh, and teach you how not to do a ‘Bette Midler’.

No idea who Bette Midler is? Let’s move on…

“I wouldn't say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity.”

- Bette Midler

First thing’s first. A wedding registry is most certainly not tacky. In fact, a wedding registry (aka a wedding gift list) is a great tool to help both the lead up to, and your wedding day run as smoothly as possible. Feeling a little embarrassed, guilty or awkward asking for presents? Save your energy!

What may feel a little presumptuous to you, is actually a huge relief for your guests. Your friends and family want to help you start married life with ease. Creating a gift wishlist means your guests can be confident they’ve given you something you really love and want, and alleviates any potential headaches deliberating over what to buy you.

No idea what a wedding registry is? No worries, check out our ultimate wedding registry guide to find out more.

Now we’ve settled the whole, ‘is a wedding registry tacky’ question, it’s time to start building. Think less about what you ‘need’ and more about what you’d ‘love’. Remember, wedding gifts should be a luxury that you wouldn’t necessarily buy yourself.

Already living together? Don’t feel you need to include traditional gifts if you already have them. Instead opt for items that celebrate your unique style and fit your needs as a couple.

Need a little style inspo? Browse our collections by style, trend and explore what other couples are adding to their list.

Timing is everything. Creating a wedding gift list is great fun, but with so much choice on Prezola, you need to leave yourself plenty of time. Register and begin browsing as early as you like but we’d recommend making your list visible before you send your wedding invitations out, which is usually 10-12 weeks before the wedding date.

For those friends that like to leave everything until the 11th hour, we suggest keeping your list open a week or so after the wedding too. Of course, you can add to your list or remove unpurchased items at any time, even after the list has been made public.

As a basic rule, we think at least one gift per guest is good wedding registry etiquette. It’s important to include lots of different priced gifts to cater for everyone's budget and give your guests plenty of choice. Once registered with Prezola, you can utilise our handy gift list calculator located in your dashboard. The calculator suggests the ideal number of gifts to include on your wishlist, as well as useful links to our most popular gifts in each price category.

Don’t forget that Prezola allows your friends and family to group gift too. This means guests can club together to contribute to something really special (and you can get the gifts you really want). It's like crowdfunding, but for a sofa or coffee machine instead. You can enable group gifting on any product and once the gift reaches its total, it will be marked as purchased on your list. Hurrah!

100% yes. You’ve decided to have a gift registry so tell your guests! Only telling immediate family and the wedding party is cause for confusion. Spread the word! It’s perfectly acceptable wedding registry etiquette to include gift list information on your invites and wedding website.

Remember this is a joint gift list. However tempting it can be to get a little ‘click happy’ and start adding things without your partner’s approval, we’d suggest trying to avoid that (we know it’s hard!) By filling out your wedding registry together, you can guarantee you’ve added items you both will love and cherish for years to come.

Q: is it rude to ask for cash contributions?

It’s definitely not rude (or tacky) to ask friends and family to contribute cash. If saving for an epic adventure, house deposit or home renovation is at the top of your list, then using your registry is a more tactful way to do so!

Prezola’s cash funds allow guests to make contributions quickly and easily with our secure online checkout. Meanwhile, you can keep track of all transactions in the Cash Gifts section and decide when to transfer them to your own bank account. Simple!

Don’t forget to personalise your list and make it yours. Add your favourite picture of the two of you as a profile picture. Change your background to match your wedding vibe. Write a welcome message to your guests. You can even integrate your gift list to your gettingmarried.co.uk wedding website! These personalised touches can really help guests feel excited to give you something extra special and contribute towards your big day.

Prezola makes it super straightforward to track and manage your list. Every time a guest purchases a gift, you will be notified by email. You can also sign in to your account and easily check the ‘View My Gifts’ tab in your dashboard. This way you can quickly see the status of all your gifts and purchases meaning you can amend, add and swap items as you wish.

Well, we couldn’t write an article on wedding registry etiquette without talking about thank you notes! With your delivery, Prezola sends a final checklist of your gifts, including details of each purchaser and their message. This makes it easy to keep track of which items have been bought, and by whom.

Now you can start the process of writing those personalised thank-yous to all your friends and family. Of course, whilst typing out an email is a lot quicker, we’d suggest sticking to a handwritten note so guests know you’ve put more time and effort into your thank you.

So, hopefully, we've managed to reassure you that a wedding registry is certainly NOT tacky, tasteless or at all presumptuous (sorry Bette). Asking for what you want is sometimes easier said than done. But by following our handy tips, you can be confident that you're making the most out of your gift list and avoiding any gift-related headaches for your friends and family.

Remember, your wedding guests want to celebrate YOU. So, sit back, relax and get adding to that list. We promise you won't regret it!